The Year of Me

This post is a little delayed, but that's okay because it's about me and I'm always fashionably late.

I spent this year growing up and making a lot of new decisions I wouldn't normally have in the past. By nature, I am very cautious and it takes a while for me to come to a well-thought out, rational conclusion. I blame that trait on my parents (mostly my mom), but it has served me well for most, if not all, of my life. I hardly ever get into fights with people, and when I was a kid, it took me forever to pick out the exact toy I wanted from a bin filled with other toys that, to the untrained eye, looked the same. With this method of consideration, I was nearly always promised a perfect outcome/product.

Now let's take a look at year 25 -- the year the contemplation stopped and the action began. It started with drinking coffee for the first time (and actually enjoying it) and ended with a trip to the tattoo parlor. The occurrences that happened in-between were nonetheless exciting. I said "yes" to many invitations that I had declined in the past. I went to parties where I only knew one person and still had a blast.

Many people also know that I hate confrontation as much as I hate pickles and raisins in my favorite foods (blech, gross). But since this was my year of change, I've started (slowly) standing up for myself and telling those who bring me down, in a respectful manner, what I really think. I still will not eat pickles or raisins though. This blog is called smallsteps for a reason.

In a related food note, I've started cooking. The fear of giving someone agonizing stomach cramps has always made me steer clear of the kitchen. But there's a time to get over your fears, because no one is going to do it for you.

After everything that has happened in 2010, including being unjustly put on (and taken off) probation at work, I would have to say that this was a year of growth, learning, and sheer awesomeness. I know I'm a little late to the "coming-of-age party," but I don't think this year would have been as perfect without 25 years of my careful examination.


Here are some highlights from 2010 :)

In conclusion, I would like to give 2011 a run for its money, because I know I'll be ready for it.

The Summer Predicament

Shopping for a bathing suit is one of the hardest things women have to face today. It's right up there with equal pay in the workplace. It is such a big deal that people often don’t refer to the three months of sunshine as Summer, but rather “Bathing Suit Season.” Some also refer to it as “Wedding Season,” aka “you-should-have-been-working-out-all-year-to-impress-everyone-season.” What kind of pressure is that? I’ll tell you what kind: cruel. As far as I know, no one but models enjoy seeing themselves in a spandex outfit that leaves nothing much to the imagination – good or bad. Maybe Giselle Bundchen hates how long her legs look in a string bikini. Okay, so I doubt she has that problem or any problem really, which just makes me more irritated, but I digress.

I went shopping this week for a bathing suit and (surprise, surprise) I hated it. I realize I have a bit of exercise denial, but I have been trying to eat healthier and learn to cook so I don’t have to patron Subway every other night. Fun fact: did you know brown rice reduces your chances of diabetes, while white rice increases it? See, I’ve been doing my homework. Anyway, until I can really afford my new imaginary diet, I have to go at this in a more physical manner.

After finding some nice pieces and cover-ups, the fam decided The Cheesecake Factory was a good option for dinner. Although very delicious, it’s probably one of the unhealthiest restaurants in America. This was go time. I was going to order a salad instead of the usual cheeseburger. Usually my dinner salads are a variation of bacon, cheese, avocado, fried chicken, sometimes hardboiled egg, and topped off with creamy ranch dressing. I used to be okay with this, but on the verge of a tropical beach vacation in a couple days, I wasn’t going to take any chances. I found the healthiest sounding salad and went for it.

When the salad was brought out to me, I had to sit back and look at it for a few seconds. Lettuce, carrots, cashews, thinly sliced grilled chicken, a touch of cilantro, and lightly dressed with a citrus-peanut vinaigrette. “This is the start of something new. And good.” I surprised myself with how much I liked my meal, even though at first glance it looked like rabbit food. (I know everyone says that about salads, but this really did look like rabbit food. Minus the cilantro.)

Success! I had made it through dinner without the feeling that my belt was the only thing stalling my stomach’s pending explosion. Oh no, why is the waitress coming over with a dessert menu? It should also be known that cheesecake is one of two of my very favorite types of cake, but I was ready to decline. Totally ready until she starts talking about the brand new cheesecake they are selling for charity – red velvet layered cheesecake. It should be known that red velvet cake is one of two of my very favorite types of cake and now that it was hanging out with my other favorite, I wasn’t so sure I could turn it down.

I did it for charity. I don’t see it as a failure if you’re doing it for charity. Do I remember the charity? No. Do I remember the best dessert experience of my life? Yes. Have I chosen my wedding cake before I have chosen my groom? You bet.

Even though my efforts are a little late into the “Bathing Suit Season,” I’m going to do better with the whole exercising thing, even if it means racing the old, venerable speed walkers in my neighborhood.

That was a good cake, though.

Nuggets Of Wisdom From My Dad

I have your hands. I have your hair. I have your short legs. The thing I love most is that I have your sense of humor and personality. In honor of Father's Day, I would like to share a couple of my favorite memories and teaching lessons:

• Most states on the East Coast are blasted with freezing temperatures and everything else associated with cold weather during the winter months. Rational people build fires in their fireplaces and wear their coats when they go outside. Why? Because it's cold. My dad liked to ignore this when driving my brother and me to school in the morning.
  "Okay is everybody ready to go to school?"
  "No..."my brother and I said in unison.
  "Oh hmm... well why don't you take your coats off so you can be comfortable on the way," he said, as we agreed this was probably a good idea. It wasn't more than a minute later that my dad rolled down all the windows in the car, opened the moonroof and quickly turned on the air conditioner on high.
  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
  "This is fun isn't it?!"
  "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? DAD! It's 20 degrees outside!"
  "Oh man, it's gonna be so warm at school... just wait." As we both hastily put our coats back on, I thought to myself how dumb, yet effective, his methods of teaching were.
  
• One thing he inadvertently taught me was the art of "making stuff up when people ask you questions that you don't know the answer to and don't want to look like an idiot." This skill was never more apparent than when I was in my prime curiosity years of 4-to 7-years-old.
  "Hey Dad, what's that thing in the sky? It looks like a plane, but it's drawing white lines behind it."
  Without even thinking, he says "Oh honey, that's a skyscraper. They scrape the sky." Totally made sense, until I went to school that is and learned what a real skyscraper was. In other lying news, he also told me that if you press the buttons on top of a milkshake lid, the milkshake will go up the straw faster.
  
• Finally, last but not least, make people believe you are the most important person in the room and you should be treated as such. If he was met with a dispute in a public location, or felt that his needs were not being accommodated, his go-to catchphrase was "Do they know who I am?" He continued, "Seriously? They don't know who I am? This is ridiculous." No, sir, you are ridiculous.

Oh, I've noticed that I have your skin and its susceptibility to wrinkles, so thanks for that. I hope to one day also have your self-confidence, however absurd it may be.

I Enjoy Faux Fights

I love being around people. Not only do I love being around people, but I also love to talk to people. And I thrive with people I know and like (and who like me back). Why? Because it is comfortable and we already know each other, so obviously there is less of an effort to make a good impression. We chat, interrupt each other, laugh a lot, some more interrupting, then maybe some yelling that ends with a faux fight that always includes a variation of "You know what? We're in a fight and we're not friends anymore." Don't worry kids, this kind of fight usually is resolved with a hilarious joke that brings everyone back for round 2. My friendships are based on routine. Wait, "routine" sounds negative and obligatory. Really my friends and I have manufactured a solid formula for conversation which produces fun, laughter, and amazingness.

Tonight, I did something that I don't do very often--go to a party where I only really know one person. I was going to be out of my element! From the time I walked in the door, I could already tell I was walking into a group of people who had amassed years of memories and a countless number of inside jokes. Being the awkward individual that I am, I was afraid my presence would only increase my awkwardness with such a tight group.

Instead of immediately talking up a storm, I decided to take a less aggressive approach. This involved mostly listening and only commenting after I had a well thought out response (sometimes I struggle with both of these haha). Turns out, this group of friends also enjoyed playfully yelling at each other and engaging in faux fights when provoked. It was perfect.

Long story short, I found I had much more fun merely listening to all of them tell their stories, which I'm sure had been repeated in the past no less than 5 times. Throughout the night, I discovered their system was only slightly different than the one I have with my friends.

What did I learn from this experience? Don't be so nervous to take a step outside your comfort zone, because you could surprise yourself. You could even be invited to a bridal shower for a girl you met an hour ago.

Navigating Life After College

From the first tiny step into kindergarten to the first leaps into my college dorm, I have, for the most part, known my next move way before I had to take it. My path was paved for me, and I was okay with that. However, after I received my degree, something very strange and foreign occurred. Absolutely nothing. For the first time in my life, I didn't know where to go or what to do with my life. I was always told how valuable and versatile an English degree would be (even for non-teachers), but what they failed to mention was that the road to landing your first real job would not be as conventional as merely filling out an application.

For every self-starting, go-getter there is a handful of people who are going through life without a map or direction. Whether it is lack of motivation or lack of knowledge, beginning one's dream career can be a struggle.

It all sounds very daunting, until you realize there are people out there whose dream jobs revolve around helping misguided twentysomethings realize their dream jobs. Here is a list of books and links devoted to life after college:

• Gradspot.com's Guide to Life After College by Chris Schonberger, Stuart Schultz, and Tory Hoen
  
  
• CollegeAftermath.com
  
  
• Ramen Noodles, Rent and Resumes: An After-College Guide to Life by Kristen Fischer
  
  
• "Starting Your Career" by Erin Burt, Contributing Editor, Kiplinger.com

The common theme? Networking. Stop watching Vh1 and go meet people. Oh, and be good at what you do, whatever it may be. For right now, I am going to do the best I can with what I have while I patiently wait for my Life GPS to arrive. I got it off of Craigslist, so it's most likely legit.

Lessons I Have Learned This Week

**I would first like to acknowledge the obvious layout and header changes (take a moment to observe). This will probably not last for a very long time, but it is an improvement from what I had before. And now onto the actual post.**

Here are some gems that I have taken from this week:

1. I would work at Lowe's Home Improvement merely for their music playlist. True, I have no previous experience in building stuff or home repair, but I would be able to direct customer's attention to my favorite songs. In related news, everyone should download Jer Coons' "Legs" on iTunes.
   
   
   
2. The absence of my ideal income has forced me to engage in activities that require little to no money. OnDemand and Jillian Michaels are now my best friends.
   
       
   
3. Freelance writing is the way to go right now. Theoretically, with so many ideas floating in my head, at least one editor has to be interested in at least one of my articles. I hope.
   
   
4. Sometimes the Universe is rooting for you. A couple weeks ago, I missed my chance to meet a childhood hero, Louis Sachar, author of Holes and Sideways Stories from Wayside School, during a book signing at a local Powells bookstore. Holes turned me into a reader, which in turn, made me a writer. Yesterday, I went to Borders to return an outdated AP Stylebook, when I decided to pick up a copy of Holes.  While I was dealing with feelings of regret and nostalgia, I failed to notice I had picked up the only copy that has the author's original signature. My reaction? "Holyjeez, omigosh, ugh, wow..." Six dollars and 99 cents later, the 1998 version of myself is jumping for joy.
   
   
   

So thank you, Universe. It has been a pleasure.

"Do what you love and the money will follow."

Different variations of this saying are passed around by some of the world's wealthiest people. But what if you don't know what you love? I wonder how long it took Donald Trump to realize his calling was in real estate and not making fun of Rosie O'Donnell (no matter how fun/necessary). Can't someone just tell me?

Usually I'm kind of skeptical of "signs," but the theme of "Change" has been following me for the past two weeks and I can't seem to shake it. Tupac's song "Changes" is playing everywhere I go, and that's NOT a song you hear often anymore. Oh, and here's my horoscope:

"Today, you're both excited and confused. You sense new things coming your way, but you can't figure out exactly from where they are coming. Don't let it rest for another day. Stay on top of the situation and it will reveal itself to you." (Horoscope.com)

Maybe it's because I'm looking for it. Maybe somebody in the Heavens is trying to tell me something. MAYBE I should go to a psychic. I think I like that idea. There's a psychic in Lake Oswego who has a pyramid tent thingy (the technical term) where she does her supernatural activities.

I just want someone to give me a hint.